Casual relationship

Casual relationship
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A casual relationship (sometimes referred to as friends with benefits, cut friend, a fling, or fuck buddies) is a term used to describe the physical and emotional relationship between two unmarried people who have a sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting a more formal relationship as a goal.

A casual relationship may be part time, or for a limited time, and may be monogamous or otherwise, and the term encompasses strong enduring friendships between people who enjoy each others closeness but do not seek marriage for some reason, through to relationships purely entered into for sexual purposes. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved, is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as circumstances make possible and both parties wish it to.

Motives for casual relationships vary, and should be distinguished from casual sex in which no relationship is intended. Many casual relationships also include mutual support, affection and enjoyment, which underpin other forms of loving relationship. Some casual relationships eventually do become long-term relationships in the course of time; equally, others were never intended to.

The intent of a casual relationship can vary: sometimes to relieve sexual frustrations through an alternative to masturbation, and other times simply as a friendship or part-time relationship which includes sexual activity when wished. Some people prefer the term "Lovers without commitment". Usually a casual relationship is not intended as a romantic relationship. It is also not the same as 'casual sex'.

In many cases, both parties are free to date and engage in sex acts with other persons, however some people choose to have exclusive casual relationships. These types of relationships effectively give the people involved an outlet for their sexual urges without the potential stress and time-demands of a committed relationship. Two people may elect to become friends with benefits because they are unwilling to commit to a full-fledged relationship or long term relationship for whatever reason.

Popularized in recent years by the US sitcom Sex and the City, this sort of relationship is commonly portrayed as a relatively new phenomenon, but it is not clear as to whether this "newness" applied to the term "friends with benefits" was actually predated by similar yet more secretive arrangements and phrases. These relationships are associated with younger people (early teenagers), and are often seen as a way to enjoy the benefits of sexual activities without the emotional strings of a romantic relationship.

According to many teens, these relationships have been going on for some time, and it is estimated that at least 32% of people over 13 have had such an experience. While providing a sexual outlet for some people, the practice is still socially associated with negative connotations. In teenage relationships, the predominant activity is not traditional intercourse sex, but rather oral sex. Many teenagers believe that this reduces the risks associated with sexual promiscuity such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Some medical authorities such as Bonnie Halpern-Felsher, a professor of pediatrics at the University of California at San Francisco, suggests that teenagers do not view oral sex as "real sex" and use it to remain in a state of technical virginity. [1]

This arrangement is particularly common among young professionals, who put a lot of their free time into their work and therefore don't have time for a "proper" boyfriend or girlfriend. Some argue that it also allows people who have excellent sexual chemistry to enjoy each other, even if they don't click on other levels.

The phrase "friends with benefits" was popularized in the mid-1990s by the Alanis Morissette song "Head Over Feet."

Criticisms

Some people prefer the term "Lovers Without Commitment", as it espouses the view the lovemaking is more than a mere benefit of the relationship.

Others believe that casual relationships of this sort are unrealistic because strong emotions will inevitably come into play. Naturally this belief is typically not shared by those who participate in such relationships. It is generally acknowledged, however, that a frequent cause for the termination of such relationships is the development of a one-sided romantic attachment.

It is claimed by some that it is the male who is most often harmed in this kind of relationship. Being a "friend with benefits" is sometimes an option given to the male in a steady relationship after being broken up with. Many times people who love each other will choose this route because current circumstances prohibit a steady relationship. This kind of situation often leads to strengthened bonds and stable relationships after those circumstances pass. Relationships that have sprouted from "friends with benefits" relationships are most of the time more sexually open and stable in their foundations.

The term "friend with benefits" is often misused. A situation similar to the example used above. "Friend with benefits" has been used in a way that would be better described as an "emotional friend with benefits." An example would be a romance that has lost its spark, both parties want the relationship to work, but it cannot. There is no desire even though they both want there to be, so they decide to wait for the spark, together and apart.

Some people think that these sort of relationships are commonly male-dominated and oriented, with the female existing mostly as a sex-object for the male's gratification. However it seems that the female is often the one who initiates the relationship in the first place. This calls into question whether the females are using sex to gain the illusion of affection, avoid loneliness, or perhaps as a stress release. This theory also fails to take into account that many bisexual or lesbian women will participate in these sorts of relationships with each other; hence, these relationships can happen with no male participation at all. Many women also say that they enjoy casual sex just like men, not having to "mean" anything more about it. Probably, traditional cultural or religious values for women and men also come in as factors here.